Decisions, decisions, decisions!  When I was younger, I totally killed my credit.  As many of you may know, credit can be a pain in the arse.  In my defense, I was young and stupid, and didn’t realize it would take me a decade to get it back to where it should be.  I got lucky, and had a parent who financed my home…which I spent 10 years busting my rear end to pay off.  Yay me, I’m a home a home that needs almost EVERYTHING updated or replaced now.  I am at the stage where I wanted to get a bigger house, a better house, a new house with zero work required.

I set about looking at houses and found the perfect house.  Five bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a kitchen to die for.   I love to cook, so it was pretty high on my list.  I looked at financing.  I could pay this house off in 23 years and have an interest rate below 4%.  The kicker?  I wouldn’t have to put a dime down on it.

Here I was, in the middle of a loan application, and it hit me.  People call it second guessing.  I personally call it realization.  I can sign these papers now, and by summer, be in my dream home.  Life would be so perfect.  However, I would have a house payment I had not previously had.   How long before the new wore off?  How much would it cost to update my house in total if I did one project at a time?  I would no longer be a home owner, I’d be one of the gozillion people in the world that had a mortgage, and worry that if I lost my job, I’d lose everything.

I would no longer have some of the financial freedoms I enjoy.  My kids are teenagers that won’t live here forever.  What the hell am I doing???  So many people would kill to have what I have, and here I am…trying to throw it all away???  If I can afford this house payment, I can afford to save this much money a month.  In two years, I could update 90% of the things I wanted to update on my old house, and I’d still own it.

That new house might be pretty and shiny, but it can’t give me what this old house can…security.  If I sign those papers, I’m destroying what I busted my rear for over the last 10 years…security!  So, sorry kids, that third bathroom will have to wait until Mom saves the money to buy it out of pocket!




Now, I try really hard for balance in life.  I work, I teach, and I maintain a home…ok, I didn’t say I do these things well…just that I do them.  I’ve learned that there are things that make my life less stressful.  I climb mountains, and I drink soothing tea.  I mean my tea even tells me these awesome little quotes!  Plus, I have hobbies that I’m hoping in time will produce money and get me out from behind a computer working countless hours every week.

However, there are some days that I’m just done.  Friday was one of them.  A holiday coming up,  a day that was twice as busy as I’d planned for, not one, but two virtual  meetings.  A house full of kids, end of month reports.  I always know that the end of the month requires reports…but add a holiday weekend to that, and I was done.  I was beyond done.  Then, without warning, after a quick 20 minute break where I went and bought my family take out because I couldn’t find time to fix dinner, even though I was working from home…I cracked.  I wrote a long, drawn out email to my boss where I stepped down from my position.  I stepped away from the computer and I poured myself a drink.  (Not the kid friendly kind.)

After a couple of drinks, when my sanity returned, I emailed boss and took it back.  Lucky for me, he was very understanding about the whole thing…and told me to have another drink.  Sometimes, we really just need a drink!

Now, it’s Sunday, and I’m spending my day on the bed watching Hallmark with a laptop…not working, but reading blogs, something I don’t get to do as much as I’d like!  Yay for Sunday!

The moral of the story…take a break when you need it!   This is the most useless, best day I’ve had in a very long time!



Every year, on my birthday, I think of all the wonderful things I will do…and I never do them.  Every year, I say this year will be different…but it isn’t.  30 didn’t hit me quite as hard as 35 seems to be. I think it’s because 30 seems like the “adult” age..and 35 seems like the “too old to keep wearing my clothes from the juniors section” age.  That..or my expanding huge arse.  This year will be different.  LOL

I am actually not just saying it…I’m doing it.  I’ve wanted to venture into something besides this boring, time consuming for something that pays the bills but doesn’t make me happy work for a very long time.  I love building things…and so does the hubs.  This year…I bought a table saw…a jigsaw…a sander…and another contraption that I can’t remember the name of to bore holes into furniture…and a router!  I’ve googled plans and watched tutorials…

I even made a tote bag…sewing may not be a thing I do for anything more than fun…cause I suck at it, but it’s fun.  It’s more of a hobby.

I’m totally digging the furniture thing though…I’m seriously handy with this junk…and even better…the hubs is!  I’m thinking a little side business…maybe more in the future!


Farmers table…it has matching benches as well.  Good thing I married a large man to haul things in the house!


I honestly can’t see myself working 50 hours or more a week sitting at a desk for the rest of my life.  It doesn’t motivate me, and it doesn’t make me happy.  Life is just to short.  At this point in my life, I have to consider if making money is more important than the time and the memories I make with my family, and I really don’t think it is.


Would it be wrong if I just said it? PMS MOMMY DOESN’T CARE!  I mean, I have worked since 7am…I have eaten enough for people to ask me if I’m pregnant just by looking at my stomach..I’m so tired I can barely function..and my co worker is a pain in my butt sometimes.  So, when my 15 yr old and my 9 yr old want to argue alllllllllll damn day long….and I just want to get them fed so that I can haul my tired rear to the car and take my kid to MMA class where I get to sit around and watch for another 2 hours before I can come home and check my work email and go to bed…

I’ve heard that PMS gets worse as you get older…but I’m having anxiety here!  I mean, 34 is not exactly ancient.  My other half thought it would be funny to tell me that most things don’t work the same after a few decades.  Yes…I did scowl.  So, now I’m Mean Mom who yells and screams and stomps…which means I now have to stop and get ice cream on the way to martial arts so my kids love me again. That is going to make a mess in my car! SIGHHHHHHHHH


Sometimes, when life just seriously gets heavy, we have to take  a break from the things that don’t require our immediate attention.  We had a family tragedy with the passing of my father’s brother.  Everyone in the house except me had a stomach virus.  Then two weeks later, everyone, except me, had the flu.  I’m immune to these beastly creatures.  Then, the husband had surgery.  It’s been a long, cold month, but SPRING is around the corner, and things are looking up!


I wait until my kids leave home, creep into their room and steal old, outdated, and broken toys.  Yes, I’m a thief.  Then, I pretend I have no idea where those toys are when they eventually look for them.

I let my kids have kool-aid.  I also let them have the occasional soda.   What kind of mother lets her kids have that sugar???

I also let my kids eat processed food!  Hot dogs…canned ravioli…you name it, when I’m in a hurry, and have no time, I feed them whatever is handy!!!  (This is however, not the usual way I feed my children.)

I force my children to go outside.  I mean, what kind of mother kicks her kids out of the house for physical activity and vitamin D???  Oh yeah, I tell them, “GET OUT!”

I frighten my children.  My husband jumps out of the bathroom closet,  after dark, we have banged on their bedroom window, and we once hid from them to make them think we disappeared.  I mean, it’s funny to see their reaction.  (Full disclosure: This was teenagers.  I would not do this to a young child.)

I also tease my children!  Notice the picture below…my daughter is short.  Of course we put her troll where she cannot reach it.

I let my kids watch movies with violence.  I mean, nothing sexual…but dude, Bloodsport was awesome!  Who else will watch it with me since I have no adult friends who will watch it?

I say bad words in front of my kids!  If they haven’t heard them, how will they know what they are so that they don’t say them?  Oh…and now they know how to use all of them in a sentence.

I make fun of my kids.  Let’s face it, the world is a cruel place.  People are going to make fun of you. So, if I make fun of my son…I’m preparing him for the world ahead.  Not my fault he does dumb things.  Oh, and I always say “TOLD YOU SO”.

I sometimes tune my kids out.  I do not care about Sonic the Hedgehog.  I do not care about tattle telling.  I do not care who started the argument.  I will tune them  out!  I will often be making a grocery list in my head while shaking my head and looking concerned.  It’s really a talent.

Last, but not least…I let them wear swim trunks instead of underwear if all of their underwear is dirty.  I purchase and provide them with plenty of clothing.  I have taught them how to use the washing machine/dryer and hang clothes on the line for drying when weather allows.  I can lead a horse to water, but I can’t make it drink.  With that said, the swim trunks usually get them to remember to do their laundry 😛