PMS MOMMY

Would it be wrong if I just said it? PMS MOMMY DOESN’T CARE!  I mean, I have worked since 7am…I have eaten enough for people to ask me if I’m pregnant just by looking at my stomach..I’m so tired I can barely function..and my co worker is a pain in my butt sometimes.  So, when my 15 yr old and my 9 yr old want to argue alllllllllll damn day long….and I just want to get them fed so that I can haul my tired rear to the car and take my kid to MMA class where I get to sit around and watch for another 2 hours before I can come home and check my work email and go to bed…

I’ve heard that PMS gets worse as you get older…but I’m having anxiety here!  I mean, 34 is not exactly ancient.  My other half thought it would be funny to tell me that most things don’t work the same after a few decades.  Yes…I did scowl.  So, now I’m Mean Mom who yells and screams and stomps…which means I now have to stop and get ice cream on the way to martial arts so my kids love me again. That is going to make a mess in my car! SIGHHHHHHHHH

I’M BACK!

Sometimes, when life just seriously gets heavy, we have to take  a break from the things that don’t require our immediate attention.  We had a family tragedy with the passing of my father’s brother.  Everyone in the house except me had a stomach virus.  Then two weeks later, everyone, except me, had the flu.  I’m immune to these beastly creatures.  Then, the husband had surgery.  It’s been a long, cold month, but SPRING is around the corner, and things are looking up!

MORE OF MY EPIC MOTHERHOOD FAILURES…

I wait until my kids leave home, creep into their room and steal old, outdated, and broken toys.  Yes, I’m a thief.  Then, I pretend I have no idea where those toys are when they eventually look for them.

I let my kids have kool-aid.  I also let them have the occasional soda.   What kind of mother lets her kids have that sugar???

I also let my kids eat processed food!  Hot dogs…canned ravioli…you name it, when I’m in a hurry, and have no time, I feed them whatever is handy!!!  (This is however, not the usual way I feed my children.)

I force my children to go outside.  I mean, what kind of mother kicks her kids out of the house for physical activity and vitamin D???  Oh yeah, I tell them, “GET OUT!”

I frighten my children.  My husband jumps out of the bathroom closet,  after dark, we have banged on their bedroom window, and we once hid from them to make them think we disappeared.  I mean, it’s funny to see their reaction.  (Full disclosure: This was teenagers.  I would not do this to a young child.)

I also tease my children!  Notice the picture below…my daughter is short.  Of course we put her troll where she cannot reach it.

I let my kids watch movies with violence.  I mean, nothing sexual…but dude, Bloodsport was awesome!  Who else will watch it with me since I have no adult friends who will watch it?

I say bad words in front of my kids!  If they haven’t heard them, how will they know what they are so that they don’t say them?  Oh…and now they know how to use all of them in a sentence.

I make fun of my kids.  Let’s face it, the world is a cruel place.  People are going to make fun of you. So, if I make fun of my son…I’m preparing him for the world ahead.  Not my fault he does dumb things.  Oh, and I always say “TOLD YOU SO”.

I sometimes tune my kids out.  I do not care about Sonic the Hedgehog.  I do not care about tattle telling.  I do not care who started the argument.  I will tune them  out!  I will often be making a grocery list in my head while shaking my head and looking concerned.  It’s really a talent.

Last, but not least…I let them wear swim trunks instead of underwear if all of their underwear is dirty.  I purchase and provide them with plenty of clothing.  I have taught them how to use the washing machine/dryer and hang clothes on the line for drying when weather allows.  I can lead a horse to water, but I can’t make it drink.  With that said, the swim trunks usually get them to remember to do their laundry 😛

BLENDED FAMILY 101

Now, I would never post this on facebook, cause it would be shaming my child in a non-joking manner…which I don’t do.  Since she doesn’t read this and will never even know…lol

It is important that you are aware that I am my daughter’s biggest fan.  Through thick and thin, I support her.  I did not take a side over her, I chose what is best for her in her blended family.  My 15 year old daughter said, “you know what Mom?  I was going to use MY money to buy a coffee and she told me if I did, she would throw it out.”   She was talking about her step-mother.  Now, my daughter doesn’t drink coffee.  It’s not for me to say if someone else’s 15 year old should drink coffee.  She has had coffee, and I think once in a while, like twice in her lifetime, it’s not the worst thing I could do to let her have a coffee.    This statement prompted me to ask a couple of questions.  I’ve learned from my parents and my blended family, don’t overreact, ask first.  “Did you tell her you were going to buy one and she said no?” This got me the response, “She’s not my boss, she can’t tell me how to spend my money.  She can’t throw away a coffee I bought with my money.”

I’m usually the parent my daughter doesn’t like.  It’s rare that I get to be the one who does the fun stuff…or allows her to do the fun stuff.  However, thanks to my response, I am once again, the mean parent.  “She is your boss when you are there.  She told you that you couldn’t purchase the coffee in the first place, and had you purchased it, she should have thrown it away.”   If she came home and stated the woman had beaten or starved her…if she had said she was doing drugs or left her home alone overnight…even if she said she was just mean to her, I’d be looking into this.  I love my daughter.  Sometimes love is doing the right thing.  It’s our job collectively as parents and step parents to raise this child into being a good adult. We must work together and respect one another.

To be honest, I’m embarrassed my child was so disrespectful.   This woman, like myself, has cleaned up, cooked, worried, and loved this child.   With that being said, it’s most important to me that my daughter knows she can always come to me.  That doesn’t mean that I won’t tell her when she is wrong.  I will validate her feelings, and I did. I will also tell her the reality.The reality was, that she was in the wrong.  This parenting stuff ain’t easy!

LIL SCIENCE FUN…

I love simple science experiments.  So what happens to a penny when you wrap it in toilet paper and soak it with vinegar leaving it over night?

My son’s hypothesis?  They will change colors because of the acid in vinegar…

Simple…quick…educational 🙂

WINTER BLUES NO MORE

Every year, I enjoy the coming of the fall weather.  It’s a break from all of the outdoor.  I’ve spent my entire life in this area where we have hot summers and cold winters.  It’s always a nice change of climate.  Of course, the holiday season keeps us busy and gives us something to look forward to.  It isn’t about all those presents on Christmas morning.  It’s about making candies and baking cookies.  It’s about seeing our family and enjoying the spirit of the season.  With that said, after New Year Day, I’m done, bring on my warm weather and sunshine!

This is the best time of year for me to try and get my house in order.  I will be working really hard on getting my home organized and working with the kids on their house chore skills.  We need a lot of ORGANIZATION.  Every September, I get this house under control, but it’s lost with the holidays.  A lot of decoration and gifts mean a lot of chaos!  Plus, kids inside the bulk of the time tend to mean a lot of usage of indoor things that are not always put away as they should be!

This is also the time of year when I make my big plans for warm weather!  Last year, we did the garden and some much needed driveway work, which was a huge addition for us.  This past year, my kids were finally at an age where the years of trying to instill hard work into them finally paid off! (Plus, they work cheap!)  We also finally did the chicken coop that I’d longed for so long! (Who knew watching chickens could be such great therapy?!)  I mean, just because I name gold colored chickens after “The Golden Girls”, it doesn’t mean that I am a fanatic.

What is in store for my poor children this year? Well, so glad you asked, because I am thinking bigger and better!!!

  1.  We are doubling the size of our garden!  Plus, I’ve been working on designs to keep my green beans from killing my peas.  Those little suckers grew right over top of my poor peas!
  2.  We are building a ramp for our back door!  Fun, I know!  My father has no way to just drive his electric wheel chair in the house at the moment.  Did I mention he’s like my super BFF?!  He used to be able to use his walker, and walk in, but his strength isn’t what it used to be now that he’s in his 70s.  So, he’s using the wheel chair more often than not.  I don’t want him to not be able to come and go as he pleases..so this is one of our top priorities!
  3. We are getting more hens!  This goes hand in hand with my biggest project.  Who doesn’t want more chickens?
  4. We are building a lot for a couple of hogs.  That’s right, I said hogs..as in pigs.  Nope, we are not getting pets, but we all know I’m going to name them.  The older I get, the more I strive for the ability to use this land for things that cost me a lot of money.  We eat a lot of bacon, ham, and sausage.  I’m not anti-animals, but I’m not a vegetarian either.  (FYI My father in law will be assisting me in the end result…cause we should all know, I’m not the pig homicidal type!)
  5. All of my children are starting their own little business.  Crazy mother, I know!!!  So, they all like to spend money, and this is a great way for them to earn a little bit and learn a lesson.  They must use their phone, social media, person skills to sell.  They must work hard at their products to produce.  My youngest, currently 8, will be selling his fresh chicken eggs.  Now, this is why I’m getting more hens, just a few.  He will have to retrieve the eggs daily.  (Of course, he’ll only be selling them to friends and family locally, but he must start somewhere.)  My daughter, who considers herself a fashion design expert in the making, will be following some simple patterns for making things like tote bags and aprons.  My twins?  They enjoy working with their hands, and so does their father.  He’ll be helping them design some simple signs, tables, and other projects they can easily reproduce.  I provide the basics they need to get started…my sewing machine, the chickens, saws and wood for prototypes, etc.

Needless to say, my kids are not as excited as I am, but this will certainly keep us all busy this spring!  Some day, they are going to thank me…or at least have a little bit of skill!  Wish us luck! 😉 img_20160725_121548 Totally excited to have an even bigger harvest this year!!!

 

WINTER CLEANUP 2017 (part 1)

I love snow days!  Even though we homeschool and sometimes still have school on those days, sometimes…we don’t.  We take the day off like the rest of the county.  Now, when I say take the day off, I mean “after Christmas, why is there wrapping paper in your room? there is too much dust from electric heat in here, omg we should be an episode of hoarders”.    So, I make them assist me in the “Winter Spring Clean”!  They hate it.  They hate me right now.  I am most certain that means I’ve done something right!

It’s no secret I work a full time job, I’m a full time school…cleaning lady, cook, laundry, gardener, zoo keeper…!  One cannot simply clean a bedroom in the state of my 8 year old son’s and my 15 year old daughter’s room.  They just do not have the cleaning gene.  My twins?  Their room is always spotless.  I started when they were small and they have cleaned their rooms for years with no assistance from me.  Other than a little dust now and then, I don’t have to lift a finger in there.  My 8 year old and 15 year old?  When I go in, I go majorly in.  I remove everything they own except furniture, and deep clean.  I mean, everything besides large furniture and some large electronics.  I also leave clothes hanging in closet and drawers..though I do go through those and clean them out.

I know it seems cruel not to let them just play video games all day, however,  I cannot relax in a house full of cobwebs and wrapping paper scraps.  Plus, all the cardboard from boxes from Christmas gifts?  And with all the new stuff, time to hunt down the legless and armless action figures of an 8 year old and give them a proper landfill burial.  Sad when my son told his father to come and see his new and improved room.  His was pretty bad!  2 rooms down…like a gozillion to go!

Oh, and the house rule?  I get to keep any change I find while cleaning.  I made almost 3 whole dollars!!! SCORE!