As I mentioned recently, I have been putting little to almost no effort into marriage. I mean something that secure, why would you need to? Yeah, ok, I’m awake now. OMG what a difference a little effort makes! I mean, I’ve done the most simple things, and it’s amazing! My biggest thing…when my husband speaks, even if what is on tv is really interesting, I’ve tuned out the t.v. instead of him. I mean, I like him, why not? When we were dating, I hung on his every word. Now, I’ve been too wrapped up in television to listen to him tell me what happened in his life! Seriously, I am ashamed.
I found this blog with “30 questions you should ask your husband”. The poor man thought he was taking a quiz and that he was being graded. I loved it! I almost felt like I was on a first date, and I wanted to know more! I mean, I’d forgotten how similar our career wishes were. Now, I’m wondering, if we put our minds to it…why couldn’t we? And of course, I’m thinking, why didn’t I already know this? This man is a catch! He’s tall and handsome. He’s smart and hard working. He’s a good father and he adores his wife…WTF is wrong with me???? I love my husband, I’ve just been a lazy woman overrun by work and kids and pushed him way down the list of things to do. A list he should never have been on in the first place.
And really, it’s a benefit to me! The man cleaned up dog poop so I wouldn’t have to! Everything he complained about having to do…he’s been happy to do it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that I live in a fantasy world where every day is super sparktacular. I do have to say though, a little effort and he seems happier and I love seeing him happy. I’ve been happier…and as a whole, our family is smoother. We are working together, and our tempers are in check. The smoothness makes the kids seem happier. Plus, super bonus, he’s so happy to help me out, my work load around the house is sooo much more manageable!
The really sad part is, we weren’t fighting or contemplating divorce. We were just living in comfort. It’s like silent, but deadly. I’m happy we caught it before we didn’t know each other. Strangers left home alone after being ditched by the kids. I mean, I’m like Tom Cruise on Oprah’s couch kinda happy….let’s hope I don’t end up like him, but you catch my drift.
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
– Mignon McLaughlin