BLENDED FAMILY 101

Now, I would never post this on facebook, cause it would be shaming my child in a non-joking manner…which I don’t do.  Since she doesn’t read this and will never even know…lol

It is important that you are aware that I am my daughter’s biggest fan.  Through thick and thin, I support her.  I did not take a side over her, I chose what is best for her in her blended family.  My 15 year old daughter said, “you know what Mom?  I was going to use MY money to buy a coffee and she told me if I did, she would throw it out.”   She was talking about her step-mother.  Now, my daughter doesn’t drink coffee.  It’s not for me to say if someone else’s 15 year old should drink coffee.  She has had coffee, and I think once in a while, like twice in her lifetime, it’s not the worst thing I could do to let her have a coffee.    This statement prompted me to ask a couple of questions.  I’ve learned from my parents and my blended family, don’t overreact, ask first.  “Did you tell her you were going to buy one and she said no?” This got me the response, “She’s not my boss, she can’t tell me how to spend my money.  She can’t throw away a coffee I bought with my money.”

I’m usually the parent my daughter doesn’t like.  It’s rare that I get to be the one who does the fun stuff…or allows her to do the fun stuff.  However, thanks to my response, I am once again, the mean parent.  “She is your boss when you are there.  She told you that you couldn’t purchase the coffee in the first place, and had you purchased it, she should have thrown it away.”   If she came home and stated the woman had beaten or starved her…if she had said she was doing drugs or left her home alone overnight…even if she said she was just mean to her, I’d be looking into this.  I love my daughter.  Sometimes love is doing the right thing.  It’s our job collectively as parents and step parents to raise this child into being a good adult. We must work together and respect one another.

To be honest, I’m embarrassed my child was so disrespectful.   This woman, like myself, has cleaned up, cooked, worried, and loved this child.   With that being said, it’s most important to me that my daughter knows she can always come to me.  That doesn’t mean that I won’t tell her when she is wrong.  I will validate her feelings, and I did. I will also tell her the reality.The reality was, that she was in the wrong.  This parenting stuff ain’t easy!

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